In Search of Canadian Culture

Before I left New Zealand I was told that Canadians only have three spices: Salt, pepper and tomato sauce. Now that I have been here I can say that this is wrong - they have five...Salt, pepper, tomato sauce, ranch and honey mustard.

Indeed it is true.

First things first, we have to get the pronunciation of 'ranch' done correctly.
If you ask for 'ranch' but make it rhyme with 'lunch', then you will not get what you are asking for. They will probably think that you are mocking Asian people pronouncing lunch. You might get an item of Hello Kitty.

If, however, you pretend that you are a powerful chainsaw or a southern hillbilly, you will get closer to saying it correctly. The 'a' in 'ranch' needs to sound like a new born lamb.

Secondly we have to clarify that I have not spent the last three months living in a Subway restaurant, but in actual fact Ranch and Honey Mustard are standard items at the dinner table.

I know.

This is weird.

The upside to this, however, is that it allows Canadian people to eat celery, carrots, cucumber and raw cauliflower. I mean, who would ever want to taste the juiciness of celery or the crunchiness of carrots on their own when you can wade them in honey mustard?

Yum.

And much more healthy.

Culture is a weird thing.

So too are brands.

There are so many brands over here that we haven't even heard of back home...like Hollister, American Eagle and Old Navy.

And Old Spice!

Yes! You know the red deodorant in the supermarket that sits on the bottom shelf that only your grandpa wears? Well it is HUGE in Canada and is much more than a brand...it is almost a lifestyle! I swear, I have never seen such a cult following for a bottle of faint-smelling antiperspirant. Whenever the name is mentioned there is more applause and cheering than if the All Blacks were to beat the Wallabies.

Amazing.

Maybe the All Blacks should start wearing Old Spice and they'd have two nations of fans. How could they lose the World Cup next year if they had 37 million fans cheering for them?!

Yes, cunning.

Graham Henry, my advice to you is to run with this strategy before Robbie Deans reads my blog. Cos if you don't, you'll be sitting in the coach's seat next year sweating about the result...

...and then you'll be wishing you were wearing your Old Spice.